Sweet Surrender

I thought I’d share a story prior to my pregnancy. Sharing this in hopes it finds someone out there who has lost faith and hope in this time of such chaos and unknowns. Let me first say God is faithful. Remember that and take that with you today and always.

It was February 2020 and a friend of mine invited me to a midweek Church service. The message of the night was looking towards the good and fruitful trees (metaphorically) around us that are full of YES instead of giving into our human nature to look towards the one tree God is saying no to. That is the story of Adam and Eve. They were surrounded by all of these trees that bore delicious and wonderful fruit. They were forbidden to eat from one tree that God said not to eat from but they went for it anyway.

By the end of the message, the Pastor asked us to think about one thing we have been desiring but God seems (to us) to be saying no to whatever that may be. At that time, I was desiring a child. I knew deep down that for Sean and I it wasn’t a part of “our plan” for another year. Despite the strategic, well thought out, logical plan we had – my heart felt so deeply and longed for a child more than anything. So that night, I stretched out my hands as if I were holding a baby and lifted my arms towards the sky. I prayed to God that I surrendered my desire completely to Him because if I held onto it any longer, I’d break. I would break from the insane amount of control I thought I possessed over my life. (Sometimes I forget that, even now).

Listen, Sean and I are both planners and list makers. We plan out our days, our monthly financials, everything is on our family calendar, the whole nine! So you bet I had on that calendar the day we would start trying for a baby. I confided in friends about every time of the month I’d be pissed that my period came. Many times I sat with Sean and shared that I knew we had our well thought out plan but my feelings are overtaking the logic. What do I do with these feelings?

Side note, my personality is to conceal my personal feelings. I lead with logic. I try to rationalize and psychoanalyze why I feel the way I do rather than sitting in my feelings, focusing on them and being driven by them.

Again, what do I do with these feelings? It was consuming every conversation and most of my thoughts. God spoke to me that night as I stretched out my hands and said, “Surrender your desire for a child.” I didn’t hesitate. “Here God. I give this over to You because You are actually in control and the keeper of all my desires. You know my heart and what I long for so I trust You.”

What I realized is that God had not been saying no to this desire. He was saying not yet. Not yet because you are clinching onto timing, finances, family chains, traumas, etc in order to plan out something that only I the Father can set into motion. Not yet because, Lauren you are not in control and I need you and Sean to realize that. Surrender.

Well a month and a half later I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. Crazy right?

I look at my calendar often and think back to that night of sweet surrender. Do not be mistaken, God is not a genie and He did not grant me my wish. Surrender and obedience was on my part. He also could have picked further down the road for timing. But no. Further down the road for me, for us would have been what we wanted and preferred in that moment. God did this all in His timing. We weren’t trying to have a child. We also were not not trying (ya know whatamean?) That is what makes this testimony so special though. We were shocked! It is a reminder that I am not in control -ever. God is faithful and knows our deepest desires. Obedience to God is a necessity to get through life unscathed by this world. Something I once read, “if you think you have blown God’s plan for your life, rest in this…you are not that powerful.” Lastly, that when you ask wholeheartedly, He answers (even if it is a whisper of “not yet”).



ps…no I am not turning my faith and politics blog into a mama blog. Well, no promises 😉

Keep up with my pregnancy on my instagram account: @simplylbperspective

Not My Words But H.E.R.’s

Trying times all the time
Destruction of minds, bodies, and human rights
Stripped of bloodlines, whipped and confined
This is the American pride
It’s justifying a genocide
Romanticizing the theft and bloodshed
That made America the land of the free
To take a black life, land of the free
To bring a gun to a peaceful fight for civil rights
You are desensitized to pulling triggers on innocent lives because that’s how we got here in the first place
These wounds sink deeper than the bullet
your entitled hands could ever reach
Generations and generations of pain, fear, and anxiety
Equality is walking without intuition
Saying the protector and the killer is wearing the same uniform
The revolution is not televised
Media perception is forced down the throats of closed minds
So it’s lies in the headlines
And generations of supremacy resulting in your ignorant, privileged eyes
We breathe the same and we bleed the same
But still, we don’t see the same
Be thankful we are God-fearing
Because we do not seek revenge

We seek justice, we are past fear
We are fed up eating your shit
Because you think your so-called “black friend”
validates your wokeness and erases your racism
That kind of uncomfortable conversation is too hard
for your trust-fund pockets to swallow
To swallow the strange fruit hanging from my family tree
Because of your audacity
To say all men are created equal in the eyes of God
But disparage a man based on the color of his skin
Do not say you do not see color
When you see us, see us
We can’t breathe

H.E.R – I Can’t Breathe

What is Going On?

In response to the statement in the image above, I have blue lives in my close/immediate family and friends. So don’t twist this into another black person hating the police. It’s actually quite possible to immensely care for every life. I’m just stating how wrong and ill-minded you are if triggered by the black lives matter movement to the point you disregard the entirety of it.

Heal your wounds. Turn off Fox News, every news channel and go find a black person to – Hell, I’ll be your black person to talk to so we can learn from one another and share stories. Just please stop filling your mind with what media highlights. Get out of your box!

& no Candace Owens and a video of a black person agreeing with your ideology is not it, sis. 

Can we also talk about Candace Owens for a sec? Cool. I watched the entire video of her sharing her opinion and facts on George Floyd. Here’s what I have to say about it. If you are a CHRISTIAN and walked away in agreement with that message, open your Bible again. How dare anyone dig up a man or woman’s past sins (which in fact happened 2007 and prior but that’s beside the point).

Her point was that people are portraying him as a martyr/hero. No hun, people are just demanding justice for how this man died and bringing up the fact that this is way deeper than just police brutality but it was racism. We are all sick of it. Minus you I guess.

If you are in fact a right wing conservative Christian, miss Candace (and any Christian in agreement) then shame on you for bringing up George’s past sins and shortcomings for these reasons:    

  • You didn’t personally know him so how can you make such confident accusations that he was a criminal til his last breath? You said it yourself, 2007 was his latest encounter on his “rap sheet”. To me, that’s ummm 13ish years ago?                        

  • We are to walk out our faith as Jesus did. He would never look back at our sins but instead come along side that person and point them in the way they should go. You are given new mercies each morning so why not have mercy for this man after he’s dead and gone? 

You chose to spread a message of such diversifying hate. I say hate because you cared so much to look back and question the type of person this man was instead of seeing him as he is. Which is a son, brother, a father, an uncle, cousin, and a child of God’s that died under the knee of those who swear to protect and serve. REGARDLESS of what he did in his past, that is who he is. Do you do that to your friends or family dead or alive? Constantly keeping your mental rap sheets on everyone? What’s silently being said in this video is that he deserved to die and his death was justified based on what he did in his past. Are we seriously going down that route? 

I realize by me bringing this up it’s only giving this more attention than it deserves but by all means go watch the video. I just am saddened by fellow Christians to stand in agreement with that for those reasons above. If you don’t follow Christ then my message is not for you. I don’t expect you to have Christ-like love for humanity. Not saying that from a high horse. Just stating that this is not for you. 

Let’s break that quote down: 

What cannot come first is you in a space where crucial conversation happens. 

Your desire to be heard and seen will only happen successfully when you put the other persons feelings and thoughts before yours. 

You will be heard regardless. Either way. But the impact and affect of what comes out of your mouth and body language is determined by who you put first in that conversation.

Black is Beautiful Project

My story behind the black is beautiful project: This is my peaceful protest. I cannot risk my unborn child’s life being in the crowds. I’m also just following the rules with COVID and don’t feel comfortable around large groups yet. I’d rather be safe than sorry, especially carrying my most precious gift. 


I want to remember and spread the word of the movements origin.

#BlackLivesMatter was founded in 2013 in response to the acquittal of Trayvon Martin’s murderer. Black Lives Matter Foundation, Inc is a global organization in the US, UK, and Canada, whose mission is to eradicate white supremacy and build local power to intervene in violence inflicted on Black communities by the state and vigilantes. By combating and countering acts of violence, creating space for Black imagination and innovation, and centering Black joy, we are winning immediate improvements in our lives.


So while some get defensive about the movement, maybe it’s based on what media has highlighted on the news. I challenge you to follow the one decent thing President Trump ever said, #fakenews 

Do more research. Because who’s not on a mission to eradicate white supremacy or violent acts against black people?

You don’t have to stand for the vandalism or looting or defunding the police. That’s what’s highlighted in the media. But assure you that the movement is doing good and educational moves. While some people who are also for BLM are apart of the vandalism and violence and that’s not me. That’s not where my heart is at. While I can grieve with those hurting hearts committing these acts, I do not support their actions. Majority of the movement is not about that either.

What Does Defund The Police Even Mean?

There’s a lot floating around about what defunding the police means because it means something different to every person. I swear media is so dangerous for that reason alone. Ever play the game ‘telephone’?

The term ‘Defund’ bothers me. That’s not what the original intent is which has caused so much friction and misunderstanding. It should be ‘Reform’. Unless you actually want to defund the police well then that’s a different story I won’t speak to. I am not anti-police.

Reforming the police. Making it better and changing things up. There’s a problem…we have to makes adjustments and see what works better. Otherwise, what the actual hell are we doing letting all these numbers of brutality and deaths slide by? Black, white, yellow, brown…why stand for any of it? 

Sheesh we have to do better people. We aren’t stupid. God gave us a brain. Use it well. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram- I’ve never seen so many ignorant rants that make no sense. People posting videos or memes about “what democrats want policing to look like” then an absolute joke of there not being police officers on duty to help. Seriously? Get that out of here. 

Allocate funds to more extensive training and other resources for calls police officers SHOULDN’T be taking in the first place.

Lauren Fenner

Mental health organizations are in place for a reason, CPS is in place for a reason. We have all these resources of organizations that are there to help people but they don’t have the funds to improve. My husband was in mental health industry for 5 years so we saw first hand how in lack of resources/funding they had. He spent his days with people with mental illnesses. Wives with men armed in uniform worried about their husbands lives. Think about my husband who drove patients around with bipolar disorder, personality disorder, schizophrenia, etc in his passenger seat. They not cuffed and him with no armor. Anything could change in an instant for a lousy $18 an hour? People in that industry deserve higher pay for the hours they have to put in before entering that field and not to mention the education they have to complete. Now, what it takes to join the police force? Need I say more…

Do. Your. Research. 




Don’t Let em Consume You

I look back on what I write from time to time and this one was so interesting how timely it is for right now. I published this in 2018 as one of my first posts. I have added and edited some of it to fit for today times. These points are still valid.

It was November 6th, 2018 and the midterm election had just wrapped up.

I find it imperative that we all vote. As cliché as it can be to say how important it is to vote, it has a deep impact. Deeper than you think. The first time I can remember an election is President George W. Bush.  Laying in my grandma’s bed watching the television as she stood in front of the tv. I remember it being exciting and yet I didn’t understand any of it. Just the memory in the back of my mind that I am so grateful to have. I also remember during the election of President Barack Obama, walking to the nearest polling place from our house with my mom. She showed me how voting worked. The action of voting was exciting too but I still didn’t fully grasp at 15 years old what politics was about. All I knew is that a President is chosen to run our country and it is important to have leadership. How did it affect me and why is it so important to vote?

This blog was inspired by witnessing so many Facebook conversations turning ugly. People I considered friends bashing on their friends for what they believe. I am not a saint. I may not have taken to social media to shame anyone but I certainly did it out loud after reading comments and posts. Whoever was nearby to hear me get my thoughts off my chest (many times my cat). Whatever, it’s all the same! Negativity and hateful words breed more of it. We also have our opinions of people altered after we see such passionate differences. When they don’t listen to your opinion and only seem to want to shout theirs at you. It’s really sad. All of us are only human and its easy to say mean things from behind a screen. Or say you have been that person where you get so fired up you end up saying things that maybe weren’t thought all the way through.

The reason and purpose of this blog is to spark conversations to learn, to dive deeper, to ask questions, to seek after truth. I am hopefully conveying my words and thoughts in a way that is fruitful. I learned that healthy conflict is a thing.

Healthy Conflict 

I was talking with a friend the other day and they stated how interesting it is when you think about why we take politics personally. It stumped me the more and more I thought it through. Why do we get sensitive about it? Why do we judge people based off of who they voted for? We associate politics with identity. You could argue it is a part of our belief system. It is what or who a person believes in and supports. If any of that support is not in support of you then we get offended and have a different point of view of that person. I will be the first to admit how hard that is. To really sit down and hear out someone that does not have the same values while showing empathy. Those are passionate moments! Let me share an example. Its a rough topic so bear with me…

Make America Great Again. Let’s first talk about the unspoken words that creep into the minds of those that disagree with this statement. While it’s a nice day dream for some, not every person ever lived in an America that was great or even good for them. They didn’t have certain privileges that others have. Their ancestors were born into less than great without the same freedoms that our founding fathers wrote down. Still to this day there is a lack of freedoms for some with the exception for others. So when people like myself see or hear this slogan, it stings. The moment you stop seeking justice for your brothers and sisters is the moment we all fail. 

Well I hate to break it to you, but we have been failing a long time as a whole. Sure, we have come a ways from many varieties of shortcomings. There is still so much work to be done. For our people of color, things have not been right for, well…ever.

So as you can see around town, in classrooms, and grocery stores Make America Great Again rings differently for people. If I were to guess, not many people who support that slogan knew that majority of colored people passing has thought about the ignorance behind the words. But I guess this is exactly our problem…we are selfish. We only care about what is good for ourselves. If you wear this proudly, you either think it’s super patriotic and doesn’t bother you that it cuts like knives to others. Or you had no idea and just think others don’t like President Trump therefore, they hate the hat or shirt.  No. It’s much deeper than that. That same feeling has been shared among my community that I have asked. Like I said – this is a healthy conflict I am willing to have any time with you.


In a recent article one said, “We are also told that we “should not mix religion and politics.”…This saying has a powerful truth: that when religion is used for political purposes, it empties religion of its eternal meaning and becomes just one more cynical method of acquiring power.” I had to take a few minutes after reading this and think hard about why I bring my religion into politics.

I believe in the Holy Bible to be inspired, the only infallible and authoritative Word of God. I have a relationship with Him and live my life according to His purpose for me. Insert your religious/spiritual/etc. beliefs where I just wrote mine. Share with me how you separate your beliefs from what is affecting our nation. I really don’t think it is possible. Your beliefs should provoke the reasons why you think the way you do about political topics. I know this sounds silly but think about what YOUR higher power would choose when filling out the ballot. Not what your political party would choose or your friend or family. That’s what truly matters at the end of it all. Political parties are chosen based on the side where your beliefs lie the most. I will tell you that my beliefs do not lie on a particular side. I promise I am not just saying that for the sake of this blog. I believe this is because the Kingdom I live for is upside down from what this world looks like.


I side slightly towards individualism, meaning I more often support free market policies that create opportunity for personal liberty and success rather than collectivism. However, I believe in extreme globalism, meaning I strongly support policies that prioritize the interests of the entire world above those of individual nations. I care about people. I care about what is right and just and ethical for everyone. I don’t know what party this throws me under so I don’t focus on that. Rather, I educate myself by talking to people, reading up on politics coming from every political background. I research things I don’t understand and I ask a lot of questions. Take this tip as well…don’t spend a lot of time on it. Do not submerge yourself so much that it consumes you. It is an earthly matter. Politics were created by human beings which means there are bound to be flaws in the system hence, our imperfect nation/world.

To put it all simply, I try to walk out what God’s will is over my life. By reading His word, meditating on it and how I dissect it with discernment. Not perfect at it as non of us ever will be. I am not “good” because I live this way. I fail every day but I get back up and try again and again because of how perfectly good I see God to be in my life and the lives of others.

As you have seen for the past couple of years, politics do affect each and every one of us. You don’t have to like politics. You know that at some point these past 2 years you have had some conversation regarding the man in the White House. When you vote this year,   focus on what you care about and look into who is advocating the best way.  Who would you get behind based on their values, morals and character. Character does matter in politics! The person you vote for is going to be a global leader who will set the tone of our country. Character trickles down from authority to the general public.

A lot of people ask me how I consume information regarding politics. Here is what I say- Please please please do your own research. Just like you stalk your ex or friends before you knew them…take the time to stalk political talk as well. We have grown to produce tons and tons of outlets for news in media. It’s a problem. A bigger problem than you realize. There is too many articles, newspapers, tv hosts, streamers that put news out there and you and your neighbor are getting different news from different sources. So we all consume different information. Leading to the big question. What is the truth? What is the most credible source? There are a lot of lies out there but there are great resources. What I find to be the best for me is watching live television, speeches, hearings, etc. Then shutting off the tv before the analysts come on. That way you can take time to ponder on what was said. Then later look into what sources are saying so you have that knowledge as well.  Take in the information and determine for yourself what you just heard and witnessed. If I miss the live speeches then I search for them. I cannot read an article quoting a president if I have not heard it for myself. You will find many times, key words, emphasis, tone is missing. How was it said? Where and when was it said? All that matters. You consume media, don’t let it consume you. So when in doubt, strive for live!

We need to vote. Yes, us young people, women, those who have NOT  been going to the polls better get out there this year. This is not a game and despite what you think about conspiracies that it’s rigged. Vote. Just do it. For the sake of hoping things must change for the next generation.

P.S. Let’s not make America great ‘again’ but instead just make America awesome.



Faith and Politics at its Finest

We could all use encouragement on our timelines in regards to what is happening around the world. Behind those posts of “guessing the gibberish”-is it boredom or distraction from reality? The selfie you posted that was taken months ago -what part of your pre-quarantine life are you grieving? Do you live alone? Have you given up yet? Like let’s get real here. I really want to know how are you doing? 

You and I have never seen or experienced anything like this. It’s foreign. No one could have prepared for this. 

There’s a lot that all types of people are saying so I don’t expect you to land here and get all the answers. No, this is for the person who needs to be encouraged right now. Where you can find some truth. Clear and concise words that don’t contradict the words before. 

There’s a video going viral of this hilarious woman giving a fake news report in light of what sounds exactly like what the news and other outlets have expressed during this time. All contradicting and it’s true. Nothing we have been told has really added up. Doctors say one thing, media says another, and our leadership says the complete opposite of that. So who do we trust and what makes the most sense based off of what we are seeing or experiencing? Well that’s definitely a rhetorical question and I told you already I don’t have the answers here. Just marinate in that. 😂

You wake up and there’s a news report with new symptoms, more people are dead, more people have been infected. This virus spreads like wildfire and there doesn’t seem to be hope. “Can’t wait for this to be over” “When this is all better, I’m going to_______” We say these things that sound like hope but really it’s rooted in fear that things won’t get better. This is “hope so” attitude versus “know so”. 

I read a very profound sentence the other day. 

Our hope should never be tethered to the conveniences and pleasures the world offers or the ease of a situation. 

Jaw dropped. YES! 

So I asked myself, what am I doing day to day (right now) that’s convenient and pleasurable and how much of those things are tied to what the world is offering? Take the time to think on that. 

Now, how much of those things are tied to what Jesus offers? Yikes, right? 

Maybe just maybe that’s why when we come across these news outlets we cannot decipher the truth because we are not filling our minds with the truth? Read that sentence again until it sinks. That one hurt didn’t it? Let me explain… 

We are so caught up in how we are suppose to act during a crisis that we read or listen to these news outlets and react. Whether that’s by acting like this isn’t happening or feeding into it then regurgitating to others like we have no brain of our own. So we call up our people and talk about how crappy this is and whether or not you’re ok cause you’re introverted anyway. Like cmon no one is ok with what’s happening! Unless you’re like a serial killer then someone’s doing your work for you and you’re the one enjoying this. 

Ok that took a turn but you see what I mean?! 

Filling up more of my time with the truth of my savior is the only way I am going to persevere in this unprecedented time. We have heard that word more in 2020 than we ever have – unprecedented. That should be a reminder to all of us that no one has experienced this before to this extreme. So have grace to you and others for not knowing what to do, how to react, how to respond. 

Here is your encouragement-

Keep looking up like your children look up to you. Look to your Heavenly Father who is all of these things:

  • The Maker of Heaven and Earth is for us. (Psalm 146:6)
  • The King of Glory is for us. (Psalm 24:8)
  • The Sovereign Lord is for us. (Psalm 68:19-20)
  • The Creator of the universe is for us. (Genesis 1:1)
  • Our Great God is for us. (Psalm 95:3)
  • The Most High is for us. (Psalm 91:1)
  • Our Compassionate Lord is for us. (Psalm 116:5)
  • The Prince of Peace is for us. (Isaiah 9:6)
  • The Healer is for us. (Psalm 147:3)
  • Our Unchanging Father is for us. (James 1:17)
  • The Promises Keeper is for us. (2 Peter 3:9)
  • The Ultimate Forgiver is for us. (1 John 1:9)
Knowing these truths and standing on them will elevate you through this season. Because this is a season. Seasons change. That has always been the truth. So whatever your season looks like, jobless, cut hours, pregnant, all the sudden homeschool parents, essential worker with your life on the line, widowed, living alone, full of anxiety…this time will come to pass. But don’t listen to the world who’s telling you to fill your time with a hobby or side hustle. Don’t fill your time with a 100 zoom meetings a week. Don’t try to get out of this hardship by distracting yourself from what is happening. Go through it and feel it. 

P.s. I have been guilty of these things so this blog is actually for me too. 

Those are all things the world is telling you to do so that you can stay connected. Which is not entirely wrong. However, those people are fearful just like you. If that side hustle has already been done and can wait, If that hobby is a distraction from reality from actually checking your mental health, stop and pick up your Bibles. Put on some worship. If you don’t know Jesus or don’t know where to start, might I offer some help? Please reach out to me so we can connect! I’ve also dropped some resources below. 

The Word is for everyone. He loves you and cares about you and wants you to reach for Him. He already knows you. So look up, child! 

Continue reading “Faith and Politics at its Finest”

The Biracial Experience: Part Three vol. 1-4

Brittany and I discuss a Netflix original, American Son.

Waiting with great anxiety in the police station lobby is Kerry Washington’s Kendra, whose teenage son Jamal has been gone from home far too long for her comfort. Gumming up her works even further is a young white police officer, Larkin who alternates obfuscating “I can’t tell you that” evasions with condescending entreaties to calm down. He wants her to wait for another officer to get to the station to fill her in—in four hours.




Recommended Resources:

Quote: American Son review
Trevor Noah on Reparations
Drake on his biracial experience
Hasan Minhaj on The Broken Policing System

America the Beautiful?

My heart aches. Normally I would think and pray and make corrections on my blog posts before publishing. Tonight, I am all up in my feelings and God is saying release this. So here we are.

I am trying to wrap my mind around what is happening in this nation. The fact is I can’t. My mind is in overdrive searching for answers.

Gun violence – too vague. Terrorism – well where the hell is the nations security? Media – they can paint the story however they want since they have that constitutional right. However, if one does enough research, the fact is 251 mass shootings have happened in 2019 and because of that people are dead. More who protect and serve are dead. Children are dead. 

Here is something else I cannot wrap my head around…no one wants these things to happen (besides the killers themselves) but we have our heads so far up our you-know-what’s that we can’t agree on how to take action. Why can’t we start with the fact we are going towards the same goal – to stop putting guns in the arms of criminals? The country is so focused on the wrong things. Put your pride in your party down for a minute and unite as a people for the sake of humanity!

I disagree with those who say thoughts and prayers do not matter. They do. God is more powerful than these men who sit in fancy chairs in a white house. He also didn’t create us to stand idle by while people are hurting people. Let me rephrase that to where someone might care…men are killing young children and we continue to talk and bicker about it. When I say we, I really should say you men who have the platform and power to do anything about this. Notice this topic has been recycling itself? Who else is sick of it?

We speak about bi-partisan approaches but where is the action? Do I expect us to ever get to this point? Yes. Will we? Probably not. Does it bother anyone seeing other countries making decisions that benefit majority?

Until then, many candle light vigils will be had.








Love at First Sight

I have been holding onto this. Waiting for the right words, the right time, and the right way to discuss this topic. Now that the dust has settled, for now, I decided it was time.


This topic for Christians is crucial on how it is approached. It’s important how it is approached by everyone. I’m not here to talk science, specifics, or laws. This is someone’s story. I decided to sit down with a friend to let her share it.

Make sure to follow Kendy on Instagram to see just how God sees both paths through and extends his grace and love. 

Click on the SimplyLBPerspective logo to watch our conversation now!


As the Church, we must not say of abortion, “This is murder,” without saying to pregnant women, “We will serve you.” If we’re doing the former without the latter, we aren’t truly understanding the gospel.